loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize