you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We need to get me chipped asap
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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