sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
