i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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