My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
