We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize