Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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