I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
