It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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