He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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