So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
These tits shall not be calmed
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize