is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
