We're like a lot better than the average bears
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
