evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
