im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize