sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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