Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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