Me. At least after what I've been through.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
