I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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