The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
