I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
