At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
