i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
