dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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