i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
