I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
