he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
