Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
