THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
