He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
