If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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