You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
