I think im going to throw up on grandma
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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