god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
