I wish I could punch you in the face.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i drank out of a bidet.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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