Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
