there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
