It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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