and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
