I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
