Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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