She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
