My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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