the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
