I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
