i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
