The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
