Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
