question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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