he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
