i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
