apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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