think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
