YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
