Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize