I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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